I didn’t choose to fall hard
Falling hard for you was
Never really my intention.
Our random texts
To pass the time
Every single night.
I’ll text you whenever
Became I’ll text you
Whenever I miss you,
(Which was all the time).
I miss you then
And I miss you now.
But never fear
I’m growing stronger
Every single day
Even if I am
Every single day, since that particular day, I felt as though I left a version of myself at your feet.
When I stepped away from your arms at the airport, it felt as though another version of me clung onto you.
Every single day, since that particular day, a version of me waits to continue our routine.
She’d wait for your texts of memes and gifs or the random demand for attention after a long tiring day.
She’d wait for her nightly video calls with you, eager to see your face knowing that during that session, the smile that she sees was all for her.
Every single day, since that particular day, the sun would rise and set for you –
Nothing has changed for you.
I string out words onto this blog
And at best, they’re considered
Unpolished rambling of my heart.
Every time I’d feel lost, I’d write.
I’d share my pain and memories.
Awkward little pieces of my heart.
I would string every little word
Together like a pearl necklace.
Unpolished, uncut; but they’re mine.
Mine to keep and mine to cherish.
I’ll write on until my heart heals.
There are stars in between us
And you’ll look up and admire;
Feeling a love for this very moment
And all the while, I’ll daydream away
Of alternative universes and timelines
Where there are stars that hang above us –
And not between us.
If a home is where the heart is
then every home is haunted –
and I am a ghost
forever lost in yours.